How to Start a Conversation

Small Talk Anywhere Anytime with Anybody

How to start a conversation with someone that totally stranger to us, in a party for instance? If this is your problem, then you are not alone. Many others have the same problem, the same fear of rejection. 

They wonder what to talk about, whether anyone will talk to them, or whether they will be left alone, standing in a corner. They fear of the thought that others will find them boring, or worse, too talkative. It’s a common fear, and everyone has experienced it at least once.

We need to overcome this fear if we want a happier life. The gates for new opportunities and friendships will be widely open for us if we can overcome it. And we will live a more rewarding and satisfying life because we, humans, are social in nature. We all need friends and relationships. 

In addition, if we can master this "how to start a conversation" art, people will see us as a confident and pleasant man and they will be more attracted to us.

There are huge numbers of good people out there, people that worth being friends for life. If we never open ourselves to them, we will never know them, hence we will never experience the beauty of friendship or relationship with them.

Our quality of life depends on the quality of relationships in our lives: how much love we can give and how much love we can get in return. 

Everyone needs to love and to be loved. Easy to see that mastery of the know-how on how to start a conversation is important in having a happy and satisfying life.

Actually, mastering this art of small talk and how to start a conversation is not that difficult. But like any other skills, it needs willingness to develop one self and persistence in practicing to make it natural to us. Here are few tips on how to start a conversation with strangers:

• Smile and use positive body language

  Give your best genuine smile when approaching the one(s) you want to make acquaintance with. And use positive body language so that people will see you as an open, kind and harmless person to talk to. Keep natural eye contact but don't stare at her.

  Ask her name and mention it here and there in the conversation. Everybody enjoys hearing her own name. Beside, it helps you to remember her name better. Read this article on "how to approach a girl" for more good tips on approaching the girls/women you are interested in.





• Ask open ended question as conversation starter

  An open ended question is a question which can not be answered by just a "yes or no". This is to ignite longer and deeper conversation. It’s better to choose questions that need some elaboration to answer such as how she knows the host of the party you are in.

• Use humor to break the ice

  This is the "golden key" to the mastery of "how to start a conversation" art. If you joke right, no gates won't open for you!

  Almost everybody shields up their armor when some strangers approach her. Humor and laughter can effectively make them put down their armor and warm up the atmosphere for more friendly conversation. So, you'd better have some good and fresh collection of humors to help smoothing your way for making new friends.

  But remember though, be funny but not too much. Too much joke will backfire. People may think that you're silly if you joke on almost everything you see .

• Show your interests in her.

  Most people love to talk about themselves. Ask her questions concerning herself, but make sure the question is an open question that can't be answered by just a yes or no.

  Ask questions about the songs she likes most or the classes she takes. Everybody loves music. If you can know what type of music she likes, you'll have great conversation in no time unless you are very blind about that music genre.

• Pay attention to what she is saying.

  Grab something from it and discuss it with her. Don't be afraid to disagree because disagreements can make a conversation more exciting and memorable. Everybody loves to be challenged to some degree.

  Actually this is one of the best technique in how to start a conversation art if yo know how to use it. But remember, don't argue too much. No one likes the condition where she must defend herself everytime.

• Look into her eyes.

  But don't stare. Staring makes one uncomfortable or even felt threatened. By looking into her eyes while talking to her, you show her that you have nothing to hide and this will engender trust.

• Be up to date.

  Be up to date with current events, songs/music, tv or radio shows. It will help a lot in finding new topic in the conversation. It will also enhance your value in the eyes of the girl for she will perceive you as smart and knowledgeable, somebody that is not only fun to talk to but also worths to listen to.

• Pass on the control of the conversation.

  If you feel that the conversation has been somewhat going well, slowly pass on the control to her. Let her do the talking more and position yourself more as a listener. She will be more likely to recall the conversation enjoyable if she is the one who talks the most. People, especially girls/women, loved to be listened!

You see, this "how to start a conversation" is not something that can't be learned. You and everybody can do that. But to overcome your anxiety, you need to train yourself by do the points above. The use of mirror to see and evaluate your facial expression and body language can also be very helpful. Do all that again and again, practice it with anybody you find and you'll soon find that your anxiety had gone!

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