Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

And How To Be More Attractive Without Being A Jerk - Page 3

Nice Guys Finish Last: Why (continuation)

• Bad boys' indifference, cocky and funny attitudes

  Because of their insecurity and shyness, nice guys are often too available, too nice to the girl they like. They compliment too easily and too much.

  Little that they know that doing that will backfire. It gives the impression of artificiality, fake, too good to be true... and boring.

  On the contrary, bad guys won't always be there when she needs them. And they won't be afraid to argue, confront or even tease her. They may act as if the girl is the most unattractive female they have ever met.

  The acts and behaviors like that, although logically will make any woman/girl upset and angry, in fact make many females feel challenged and (subconsciously) try to get those bad boys attention. That's why nice guys finish last again!

  Can't you see? Being very nice and very available can ruin your chances to attract the girl you like. At first she might like it and be thankful to your kindness. But that's all.

  If you always do and act like that, soon she'll no longer deem it special. She'll instead take it for granted and consider you as just a friend... or worse: a loser who wants to get her attention!

  Moreover, bad men show their power by doing what they want instead of following the woman's requests. They will only give what she asks when they like to, on their terms. Believe it or not, women often found it very sexy! Indeed one more major cause why nice guys finish last!

  So, if you want to be more successful in getting dates, don't be too available nor too nice. Give your love interest impression that you are not easy to get, that you're a challenge!

• Mystery

  Women loves it when something or someone can intrigue their curiosity. This is the quality that nice guys lack of.

  Nice guys are usually too open about themselves. They tell everything about themselves even before she asks, or before she tells them anything about herself.

  But a bad guy doesn't care about it. He hardly tells anything about himself, even when asked.

  When a girl asks about something a bit personal, he will show his cocky-funny attitude instead of answering the question straight. That makes some women very curious and open themselves to the bad boy just to know more about him.

  Silly, don't you think? But however, it can surely make those nice guys finish last in the competition





• Women's ego (or nurturing instinct?)

  When a woman enters a relationship with a jerk, usually she is already aware about his bad reputation and bad behaviors. But her ego (or her natural instinct? I tend to believe it is the first) makes her believe that no matter bad his behaviors and attitudes are, in time she'll be able to change him into a better person.

  Of course this is only a wishful thinking, far from reality. Studies and experience show that, although it is true that a man can influence a woman to change, the opposite is not true. A woman can hardly change a man. A man will only change if he wants to change. It's because the different way of thinking between men and women.

• Bad connotation of the term "nice guy"

  Bad connotation of the term nice guy as well as bad experience that some women have with the so called nice guys also contribute to the "nice guys finish last" phenomenon. Maybe we should consider the use of the term "good guys" instead of "nice guys" to differentiate between the really good but shy guys with those fake, artificially nice guys.

  Indeed, not all called "nice guys" are really nice. Many of them are like wolves in sheep's clothing, or, like some women have noticed, they only nice until they have their self confidence sparked. That made some girls stereotype all nice guys as bad or even worse than those so called jerks.

• The unpredictability

  Everything that is too regular and predictable is boring. So are you if you become too predictable for your love interest.

  Bad boys on the other hand, are hardly predictable. A bad boy might be kind and passionate yesterday, but today he could be as cold as an ice cube. It makes his girlfriends curious and wonder what awaits them next tomorrow.

  Unconsciously or not, girls are fond of this kind of emotional stirring. They even often addicted to it. And you know what? That's why women love to read romantic novels and watch soap operas.

  Follow those bad boys example and don't be too predictable. Don't always bring her flowers each time you meet her. Bring her one, once in a while, at random time.

  Surprise her with your gifts and/or flattery, but don't be too often or she'll no longer feel the fun of the excitement. Do this and you'll have to stop your lifetime membership from that "nice guys finish last" club!

• Adventurous experience

  No matter how good we are, there is a wild side in everyone of us. Sometimes we want to experience new things, to be somebody else that's not ourselves. A desire for a more adventurous life. And this might be the cause of why many good girls choose those bad guys as their boyfriends.

  Although they know it's not good and can harm them badly, the desire, pushed by hormone changes and adrenaline rush within their body, often too strong for them. They just could not help it.

  That's why they find that all those good guys are boring and they choose the bad ones that they think can offer them new adventurous life instead. Nice guys finish last again!

  What you can do is, be more adventurous with your life. Create an adventure with your love interest. Do something unusual, together with her. Invite her to camp on a mountain alone with you, or with your friends, for example. Make her feel and experience new things with you. It will create chemistry in both of you.

You can be free from that "nice guys finish last" syndrome without being a jerk. Do your inner work and be persistent, then you'll be on your way to a happier dating life!

For a more complete reference about this subject, get and read the book titled Double Your Dating. It is very good!

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